The New Me!

The New Me...........

I used to think I was just a regular guy, but I was born white, which
now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist and responsible for
slavery.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today’s standards,
makes me a fascist because I plan and support myself.

I went to HS, worked through college, got a degree and have held a job
and am here not because I earned it but because I was advantaged.

I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobe.

I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an
ally of big business.

I am not a Muslim, which now labels me as an infidel.

I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the
vast NRA gun lobby.

I am older than 65 and retired, which makes me a useless old man who
doesn’t understand Facebook.

I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream
media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which
makes me a xenophobe.

I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police
and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing, cop loving
extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to
each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe that our system guarantees of freedom of effort – not
freedom of outcome or subsidies which must make me a borderline
sociopath.

I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all
citizens, which now makes me a militant.

I am proud of our flag, what it stands for and the many who died to
let it fly so I stand and salute during our National Anthem which
takes me back to where I started – I must be a racist.

Please help me come to terms with the new me… because I'm just not
sure who I am anymore!

I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through
these abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking!

I just can’t imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly!

Funny …it's all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years!

And if all this nonsense wasn't enough to deal with… I'm now afraid to
go into either restroom!