Frank Feldman

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the
taxi, and the cabbie says, “'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.”

Passenger: “Who?”

Cabbie: '”Frank Feldman.”

“ He's a guy who did everything right all the time Like my
coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman
every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the
Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros.. He sang like an opera
baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the
piano. He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”

Cabbie: “There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered
everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which
fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and
the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.”

Passenger:”'Wow, some guy then.”

Cabbie:”'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic
jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made
a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He
would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was
always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He never
made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his fuckin' wife."