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 |  General Discussion (Anxiety Free Zone)  |  Text Jokes go here  |  Topic: The Ostrich 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: The Ostrich  (Read 795 times)
wmdn_bs
“The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own."
Sr. Member

Posts: 29663

Bob


« on: 08 30, 10, 09:04:21:AM » Reply

   
     A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
    The waitress asks them for their orders.
    The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to
    the ostrich, "What's yours?"
    "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
    
    A short time later the waitress returns with the order.  "That will
    be $9.40 please."  The man reaches into his pocket and
    pulls out the exact change for payment.
    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man
    says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke.."
    
    
     The ostrich says, "I'll have the same.."
    
     Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
    
     This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?"
    asks the waitress.
    "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and
    a salad," says the man.
    
    "Same," says the ostrich.
    Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
    
    Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
    places it on the table.
    
    The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.  "Excuse me,
    sir.  How do you manage to always come up with the exact change
    in your pocket every time?"
    
    "Well," says  the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
    found an old lamp.  When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered
    me two wishes.   My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,
    I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money
     would always be there."
    
    "That's  brilliant!" says the waitress..  "Most  people would ask for a
     million dollars or something, but you'll  always be as rich as you want
    for as long as you live!"
    
    "That's right.  Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
    money is always there," says the man..
    
    The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"
    
    The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
    with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."
takncarabizniz
DEFLECTION IS THE WEAPON OF COWARDICE !
Contributor
Sr. Member

Posts: 54442

~Well-behaved women seldom make history~


« Reply #1 on: 09 01, 10, 03:02:15:AM » Reply

What is it with men and big butts?
 
I mean, ample boot-ae is okay but a big butt?
 
 
Come on...
 
 
LOL good joke
wmdn_bs
“The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own."
Sr. Member

Posts: 29663

Bob


« Reply #2 on: 09 14, 10, 05:16:27:PM » Reply

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got
Make Me so horney
Ooh, rump of smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my benz
Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy

I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's Sweat,Wet, got it goin like a turbo vette

I'm tired of magazines
Saying flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back

So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back

(LA face with Oakland booty)

I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And UH, double up UH UH
I aint talkin bout playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knockin these bimbos walkin like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna --
Til the break of dawn
Baby Got it goin on
Alot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on

So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)
Do you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back

(LA face with the Oakland booty)

Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo ain't got nothin to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend throws a Honda
Playin workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin
And I'm thinkin bout stickin
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You aint it miss thing
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice did miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back
Baby got back
Little in tha middle but she got much back x4
Oz
Sr. Member

Posts: 27517


« Reply #3 on: 09 29, 10, 06:07:05:AM » Reply

[HIGHLIGHT=#NaNNaNNaN]Are you gonna take me home tonight
Ah down beside that red firelight
Are you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls
You make the rockin' world go round
Hey
I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew love before I left my nursery, huh
Left alone with big fat fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me
Hey hey!

I've been singing with my band
Across the wire across the land
I seen every blue eyed floozy on the way, hey
But their beauty and their style
Went kind of smooth after a while
Take me to them dirty ladies every time
C'mon

Oh wont you take me home tonight?
Oh down beside that red firelight
Oh and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

Hey listen here
I've got mortgages and homes
I got stiffness in my bones
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
Hey big woman you gonna make a big man of me
Now get this

Oh (I know) you gonna take me home tonight (please)
Oh down beside that red firelight
Oh you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Yeah
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Get on your bikes and ride

Oooh yeah, alright, them fat bottomed girls
Fat bottomed girls
Yeah yeah yeah alright, hey, c'mon
Fat bottomed girls
Yes yes

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/q/queen/#share
[/HIGHLIGHT]
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 |  General Discussion (Anxiety Free Zone)  |  Text Jokes go here  |  Topic: The Ostrich
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