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03 29, 24, 07:59:58:AM

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Biden Does NOT need a BILL to close the border
He only needs a PEN. Thats all he needed to open it.
Thats all he needed to close it. Thats all Trump needed.
Maybe this is just Proof Trump is better than Biden.

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 |  General Discussion (Anxiety Free Zone)  |  Daily Life  |  Topic: We made it home 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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takncarabizniz
DEFLECTION IS THE WEAPON OF COWARDICE !
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~Well-behaved women seldom make history~


« on: 07 13, 17, 06:46:03:PM » Reply

Our flight was delayed for an hour due to fog in Seattle backing everything up, but it was a smooth flight.

Things are a little more settled; we helped MIL's 90 year old husband get some autopay banking set up, spent lots of time rubbing Mom's back and feet, trying to get her to eat a little, and helping make her comfortable so she could rest.

We did take one day to see some of the Albuquerque area.  I can only say that if you visit, do it in December...July in New Mexico is stiflingly hot.
emilyB
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Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength


« Reply #1 on: 07 13, 17, 07:01:50:PM » Reply

Glad you got to make the trip and made it home safe. 
luvtimes
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« Reply #2 on: 07 13, 17, 08:30:22:PM » Reply

Nice that you got a chance. Foot massage is a sure sign of care...and love....
takncarabizniz
DEFLECTION IS THE WEAPON OF COWARDICE !
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~Well-behaved women seldom make history~


« Reply #3 on: 07 13, 17, 10:43:14:PM » Reply

Poor, little thing...her feet are so twisted and wracked with pain and she has a dowager's hump, so deep massage is the only way to loosen the muscles that she strains from wretching and just trying to sit bolt upright to eat...

The stint they put in her esophagus is just mesh and it's a straight shot from mouth to stomach now...but even tiny amounts of food have trouble getting down...lots of mashed potatoes, pureed soups, and yogurt...well, lots as in about 2 tablespoons at a time.  She has to drink something carbonated before every meal and I think that's the one thing that pissed me off...she kept crying that ginger ale burned all the way down...so I bought some clear, lightly carbonated flavored waters, which she tolerated much better...and we took the one day off to see the city, when we came back out, her son was shoving ginger ale down her again, claiming, it helped with the nausea...and all the clear water was drunk up by the losers who have taken over her home (that is a whole nuther family dynamic that chaps my hide)...

We brought out lunch daily (KFC chicken, Costco deli sammies, wraps, croissant sammies, etc)...the leeches were all over it...I dutifully ensured her husband (who is nearly 90 and legally blind, but sure enough not dumb or deaf and put his foot down several times over what her other kids were doing), got plenty to eat, and we checked his vitals and ensured he was staying hydrated.  The other kids (all 55+) were pissed that we were the ones chosen to take him to the bank.  He didn't feel comfortable with them and wants to ensure his money stays his money.  We assured him that hubby and I had no desire or claim to anything, just wanted to make sure he and Mom are okay and things are progressing as she desires. 

It's never easy watching something like this.  Those who have been primary care givers, full time, have my greatest respect.  I did it for 3 months with my own mother, with a toddler and another young-un in tow and it was brutal...but cancer is the most evil of afflictions.  Mom would not allow us to take any pictures with her.  I think she's still as lovely as ever, but her respect means more...

Gotta get some laundry done and fix something to eat...peace out.
sunshine
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« Reply #4 on: 07 14, 17, 05:31:21:AM » Reply

Glad you are home safe.
luvtimes
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« Reply #5 on: 07 14, 17, 06:37:52:AM » Reply

Understand it Takn and the reason my last will has changed...its going to freak a lot of my kinfolkes to death....

Will say this....I've always depended on the kindness of strangers...may be dirt poor now...I do belief in insurance and more insurance...okay!
takncarabizniz
DEFLECTION IS THE WEAPON OF COWARDICE !
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~Well-behaved women seldom make history~


« Reply #6 on: 07 14, 17, 11:54:53:AM » Reply

I wish we had time to do that.  Her daughter has declared herself executor and her "primary caregiver" and makes ALL her decisions.  When Pops died, my husband was made executor, and that was changed before we made it home for the funeral...it was one of the reasons my husband became estranged from his mother for so long.

Mom's will only needs updating to reflect she wants her current husband cared for in their home, but now that we're gone, we're afraid the hubby's brother and sister will manipulate Mom again into something else...they want the God foresaken patch of dirt, and aren't above lying and cheating to get it. Mom and her husband have nothing but that patch of dirt and it's been left to ruin because of their ill health...I don't get how some people will hurt elderly thinking they deserve some kind of inheritance...it's disgusting.
I got a call last night asking if we would be willing to help with Mom's cremation, because her hubby only has his SS.  We of course said yes...we wouldn't have it any other way, and even though we talked at length with Mom about her wishes (she has a plot next to Pops up in Montana), suddenly, she doesn't want to be buried back there...it's all rather sad.  I could write a book on horrible family dynamics, LOL

We tried to stay neutral, asked Mom if she wanted us to bring a notary out from the hospice, but she said her daughter had all "the legal stuff" well in hand...we know she's pushing quickly to get power of attorney, but when we took her husband to the bank, the first thing we did was explain (and had the banker put in the file), that he is the only one to have access to the accounts.

Both hubby and I are spent on this, I feel so sorry for people who must have to deal with this crap on their own.  At least when my dad died, all of us kids were in agreement that EVERYTHING was Mom's...and when Mom died, we all just agreed that there really wasn't anything left worth fighting over...we sold pretty much everything and put it in her bank account so she could live in the nice wing of the nursing home as long as possible.

 
emilyB
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Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength


« Reply #7 on: 07 14, 17, 07:47:47:PM » Reply

That's awful takn.  I could write a book too on family dynamics.  My greedy sister in law in England got Dad's will changed after he died so she could inherit it all.  She never had kids and Dad made many trips out here and loved our kids.  He wanted to come out to live as his wife had died at 42.  My sister in law kicked up such a fuss he couldn't leave.   We took him on camping trips all over and I will never forget seeing him standing on the rim of the Grand Canyon saying, "I never thought my old eyes would see this".  He had his Will done at the law firm I used to work for in the UK and we got a copy.   He had divided everything up and left a nice legacy for our kids.   Somehow at the end of his life when he had gone blind, she managed to find a crooked attorney who re-wrote the Will to her advantage and Dad signed it thinking it was an improvement.  There should have been an affidavit at the end stating that the document had been read back to him.  Of course there wasn't.   She had taken up at the time with a crook of a man who was in on it.
We could have contested it, but all this distance away made it difficult.  Needless to say they lived high on the money and then he took off and left.  We heard later that the attorney who redid the will got disbarred.
takncarabizniz
DEFLECTION IS THE WEAPON OF COWARDICE !
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Sr. Member

Posts: 63979

~Well-behaved women seldom make history~


« Reply #8 on: 07 15, 17, 05:18:59:AM » Reply

The thing that's most maddening is that they have nothing anyway, cept' that damn patch of dirt in the middle of nowhere...and it's hot, nasty, and nothing grows...

But these people act like they're owed something!  I think people who think they are owed something to "inherit" are out of their gourds...

I don't know what will happen, it just makes me sick to see these leeches trying to take over what these two old people have...
emilyB
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Posts: 20412

Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength


« Reply #9 on: 07 15, 17, 10:31:23:AM » Reply

People like that are losers.  They don't do anything to build on their personal lives and just wait for a hand out and in the end it doesn't bring them happiness.  My SIL is now a recluse and alienated from the rest of the family.
pacifica
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springborn1959


« Reply #10 on: 07 15, 17, 12:14:45:PM » Reply

Oh my goodness, Takn, So sorry for all the drama your hubby saying what might be a final farewell to his mom. Nice to have given the feet and back massages to give her comfort. Ginger does help nausea, too bad for the harsh carbonation. Hopeful the land and home can be sold and profit put to a rest home funding for surviving spouse once she passes
unless he would prefer to remain in his home and have a caregiver which sounds like one or two of your hubby's siblings.
The original burial plot in Montana next to your husband's father sounds like the proper place for his mom.

So the Land of Enchantment wasn't so enchanting for you, that's too bad. Wasn't so enchanting for me either when i went there for a few months years ago to help care for my nephews/long story. The Sandia Mt's were gorgeous, southwest green and red chili's in most recipes were interesting, pace was slow and television with few channels but did have lots of Catholic programing and although not Catholic I found it comforting and very sweet.
When i came back to Calif. a few months later i literally kissed the ground just over the border i was so homesick & so happy to be back in California lol.
takncarabizniz
DEFLECTION IS THE WEAPON OF COWARDICE !
Contributor
Sr. Member

Posts: 63979

~Well-behaved women seldom make history~


« Reply #11 on: 07 15, 17, 12:35:04:PM » Reply

I hear that pacifica!

I will say that they keep the city and the roads in excellent shape and very clean.  The colorful overpasses and public art along the freeways is nice too...

But daaaaaaaaaaaaang, I think it was hotter than Hades, LOL
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