HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest
>country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
>
> White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's
>third language.
>
> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
>
>
> Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
>
> Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
>
>
> Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least
>10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
>
> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica ...
>No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
>
>
> Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
>but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

> George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
> >
> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
>mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
>
>
> 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
> >
> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
>
> > Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year
>in Mexifornia and Floruba.
>
>
> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed
>they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

> Abortion clinics now available in every
> High School in United States .

Senate still blocking drilling in
>ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only
>open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
>
>
> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
>
> Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
> >
> Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with

Only 3 illegitimate children.
>
>
> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters
>and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.
> >
>
> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent..
>
>
> Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
>
> Now, send this to whomever you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen.
>No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or
>very very scared.

***

> I Love
>This Country!
> It's The
>Government That Scares Me!