deep thought

[luvtimes]

yeah... here I go again...

something I shouldn't put here on the board...

but the question is...

when do you let so called friends go....

and I say that at a time when folks are struggling... I mean really struggling... and yes I've depended on the kindness of strangers many times... but only when so called friends were few and  so far away...therefore I really don't mind giving a helping hand to some...

but now...at this point in life...

I wonder in my deep thoughts....

let them go....let the so called friends go by the waist side....(whew!  glad I erased that next  thought....)

I think sometimes I maybe a bother trying to keep the light burning... my deep thought...and wondered if I just let it go... what would happen and how would they really feel?

Well families  aren't much better... seriously...

I'm rewriting my will the first of the year... seriously....

don't have much..... but in the times where struggling is occurring whatever can be given can be a blessing... I think....

when I say Will I mean insurance policies...that's what most people leave behind...isn't it...savings... giving me a break and keep it real.... ok....

friends and relatives come out the woodwork if you  were to win the lottery...  but don't you think that they should act like that now...seriously...just deep thought...that's not love....

Am I coming from anger?.... no... sadness...no....I don't think...

I'm coming from reality...

yet I can't forget the  common kindness some friends....have shown me over my lifetime... the genuine caring hearts... should they be mention in the Will... sure they should...seriously....

I went online seeking those kind hearts... and found out they had passed on... that's heartbreaking... that I didn't keep that light burning...careless sure....which brings me back to the question

when do you let so called friends go....

Oh!  Good Morning!

[sunshine]

When a "friend" becomes more work keeping them as friends, then it's time to let them go. I had one like that. Not going into detail but I'm glad when I moved, I got a new phone number...on purpose.

[luvtimes]

lol

now you know my secret...

and

 
the reason for so many numbers...is to know who is calling and whether I want to answer that number...

one is for the doctors...

two is for the online third party calls... I do buy online a lot.... and they still call... fruitless cause I'll never pick up that number....

three is for the political (can't get them off the no call register.. and this is given out by the local papers )....

four is for family...

and five is for neighbors....

magic jack affords this for 5 years a pop...

and my new Net10 is for craigslist and car and emergencies...when all the others lines are off due to Ohio blackouts......

call me crazy but it works for me... and trust this... 99.00 for magic jack for 5 years is not a lot....considering...

[emilyB]

I would go crazy with all those numbers and probably forget which is who.  As it is we just have our cell phones and a landline and the problem with my cell phone is that my helpful friend Google downloaded my online phone book and there are international numbers in my Contacts and I'm so afraid that I'm going to call the UK by mistake from my phone and run up a huge bill.  My son calls them "butt calls", when you sit on the phone and it dials someone by mistake.  I get them from him and he's not there!

Anyway - when to let a friend go.  When the so called friend starts to make little maneuvers like hurtful comments, talking behind your back and causing a few problems for you that you don't need to deal with.  Just say 'so long it's been good to know you but I'm moving on'.  I have only had one of those friends luckily and there was a lot of unneeded jealousy on her part that I became aware of and we let it go for 10 years and I had moved out of State.  However I heard through the grapevine that things were not going well for her and she had suffered some losses so I picked up the phone and we re-united.  I was able to help her out and the rift healed.  My advice for what it's worth is to be selective when you make friends and keep it on an impersonal level until you are sure about their sincerity and motives.

[luvtimes]

good advice Emily....

I guess the holidays makes one reflect and the new year approaching makes one think seriously about the people in ones life...

I honestly think it's time to let some folks go...

interesting the word jealous comes up...something I really can't understand...reasons why....unless the jealous person wants to feel better about themselves...to me it's so sad...

I mean that...

we all have issues in our lives... good and bad...but going threw changes  or issues  makes us who we are...getting back up on the saddle and riding no matter how  bumping it maybe...

we just do...falling off again and again... are lessons to be learned....I'd like to think that I've always wished folks well... cause I really do in my heart....the pain comes from when they don't think you do...

just my deep thoughts for today... and this too shall pass...

OT

Now I know you all have a hoarder room in your house... I do... and I'm trying hard to  sort threw that mess....  3 hours and counting... and I haven't put a dent in it...lol

I'll try again in a hours... that's all I want for the holidays is to clear that room....that's all...

[emilyB]

I've never been jealous of anyone's good fortune - just happy for them but I realized that a certain friend had a very bad attitude when I got a job that I had been trying for and it enabled us to do a little better and upgrade a few things.   I was so happy to be working in a good job but whenever she could she would burst my bubble.  It all came to a head when my son who was 12 went to stay overnight with her son and the two of them went over one of his friends house.  They were all 12 - 13 years old and the other two boys had got hold of some pot and a bit of LSD and were convincing my son to take it and calling him names when he said he didn't want to do it because he knew it was bad.  They got a bit abusive and he called me (luckily we were home and didn't take advantage of going out for a treat as he was sleeping over).  He was scared and asked me to come and get him.  He wouldn't tell me what it was all about and they had threatened him if he told on them.  He said he didn't feel well.

They had gone back to my friend's house and I picked him up from there and I knew right away there was nothing physically wrong with him.  When we got home I questioned him again and he finally told me what had happened and he told me I couldn't tell my friend because he would be in a lot of trouble.   We both thought about it for a day or so while our son kept pleading with us not to say anything and then I thought that if it was me then I would want to know if my son went anywhere or had a friend that was doing drugs.  We had laid out the law to him on this.   I let it go for a week and finally told my friend what happened.  She had actually asked me if our son was feeling better as he said he felt sick at her house.   She was furious when I told her and said it wasn't true and that our son was a snitch and a liar.  So much for trying to protect her son.   She found out later that it was true and by this time her son was doing drugs and smoking and they were too far gone to bother to take it out on our son.  Needless to say the friendship was never the same again.   They had been our friends for over 12 years.  The trouble was that we had shared friends but we moved out of State anyway and the ones we kept in touch with never knew what had happened.  It wasn't until 10 years later, as I said, that we heard through mutual friends that we got back in touch because this friend had suffered a big loss.  We speak to each other now and then and she seems to need the friendship but the past is never spoken of and it's not really the same any more.  Maybe I should have left things as they were when we moved.

[luvtimes]

again...

I should delete this from the board...

avoidance... yes...

I worked in personnel while in the military... for years... and was trained to ask the questions some folks dared to ask... the whats, when, why, where and how...couple more for typing sake...ok....

most times I  regret the training...

today... I avoid looking folks straight in their eyes cause threw the eyes you can see truth most times..

so what do I do?   

look down... look around...look anywhere... but avoid the eyes at all cost...

why...

cause I really don't need to know...

not really....

so while not looking someone straight in their eyes...

you have another ability...

and that is to listen... carefully...

pretty much like a blind person who can hear the truth without seeing...

and that's where all the phones come in...

Emily I have a phone station and I have the numbers written down and I only know the important ones to remember  by heart....

the  third party callers I never answer...ever....and neither the political ones.... these are my garbage numbers...just delete them whenever...no response necessary...
example... I called for an estimate on movers...and gave that number... and I tell you they must have called 100 times after I changed my mine to a later date....but I already told them... goodness...

but...anyways...

there you can hear the tones, the pauses, the lies and the fantasies...

the truth is hard for folks to tell...really hard... the hurt they   must feel inside... to try and share....

so tight jawed I try to bite my tongue cause I try hard to care about their feeling...

truly...

I'm no judge... but I'm no fool either... after listening... I'll turn away and just move on or change the subject...avoidance... let them be... is what I say... just let them be...

I can tell if someone is high on drugs or in an alcohol  state of mind...but I dare look and just listen...but you all know how I feel about that... right?....

judge... I'm not the one...no  I ain't...

my choice is to just walk away and  hope for the best in most cases... hope for better days...better times... just better period...


oh well...

just deep thoughts I guess....