Hmmmm how about last first in descending order?
 
 
YOUTH
 
For a Republican, any period preceding last week; for a minority, ends at age six. Youthful indiscretion: Any crime or moral failing committed by a Republican. Evil: Any crime or moral failing committed by anyone else.
 
 
 
WOMEN
 
See "wives," "mothers," or "homemakers." No other definition available.
 
 
 
WISE USE OF NATURAL RESOURCES
 
Using it all up before the Rapture.
 
 
 
WILL OF THE PEOPLE
 
Used only when the public votes your way. Acceptable method of denying constitutional rights of minorities. Never used when public opinion is against you (i.e. abortion, doctor-assisted suicide, etc.).
 
 
 
VICTIM OF SOCIETY
 
Any conservative white male, because no one in human history has ever suffered as he is now suffering.
 
 
 
TRADITIONAL VALUES
 
The classic values and morals that made America great, such as lynching blacks, beating up gays, and keeping the "little woman" barefoot, pregnant, and in servitude.
 
 
 
TORT REFORM
 
A slap on the wrist is the only acceptable punishment for illegal or unethical activities by corporations. However, the full weight of the law must be thrown at individuals who attempt to sue corporations for illegal or unethical activities.
 
 
 
SUPREME COURT APPOINTMENTS
 
Varying definitions. A presidential right, if president is Republican. Called "stacking the court" if president is Democrat.
 
 
 
SUBVERSIVE ELEMENTS
 
Bookstores, coffeehouses, art galleries, and other liberal hangouts, especially those in major cities.
 
 
 
REPUBLICAN PARTY
 
A political party that welcomes all conservatives, as long as they are pro-life, pro-gun, pro-Big Business, pro-oil, pro-war, and anti-everything else. Democratic party: Communist.
 
 
 
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
 
Left-wing lockstep groupthink conformism. Simple common sense: Right-wing lockstep groupthink conformism.
 
 
 
PERSECUTION
 
Suffered if your position on an issue is actively opposed. Examples of "persecution" include investigative journalistic reporting, any lawsuit filed against your church organization by the ACLU, or being yelled at by people whom you have harassed by fax or phone or whom you have misrepresented in your fund-raising materials.
 
 
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LOL! is all I can say

So why aren't conservatives funny?
 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-mcquaid/why-arent-conservatives-f_b_41256.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-mcquaid/why-arent-conservatives-f_b_41256.html)
 
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That was kinda old (2007 even) lets see......
 
10 Ways To Spot A Violent Conservative
 
http://www.funnyconservatives.com/2010/03/10-ways-to-spot-a-violent-conservative/ (http://www.funnyconservatives.com/2010/03/10-ways-to-spot-a-violent-conservative/)
 
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How about:
 
The American Freedom Anti-Propaganda and Family/Education Safety Act
 
http://www.funnyconservatives.com/2010/05/the-american-freedom-anti-propaganda-and-familyeducation-safety-act/ (http://www.funnyconservatives.com/2010/05/the-american-freedom-anti-propaganda-and-familyeducation-safety-act/)
 
Heck I thought it was funny especially:
 
 
First, laws will be emplaced to help make you free. You might think, “Well, I thought I was free”. Don’t be silly. This is going to give you levels of freedom that would make your head explode if you even could imagine them. So free, there are really no words to describe it. Just know, freedom.
 
In conclusion, remember that if you don’t support this act it means not only are you a pinko-commie, freedom hating, pro-Big Brother, family hating, dumb child loving jerk who likes danger, you also are probably a meanie who wants to club bald eagles to death. Shame on you.
 
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But then I'm different than Jim
 
 
 
 
 
 

See now THIS is racist (and even maybe anti Feminazi-Treehugger?)
 
 
Blonde Is The New Green
 
US Energy Secretary, Steven Chu, recently proposed that all black streets and roof tops be painted white as a measure to help curb global warming. The theory behind this proposal is that lighter colors would reflect the suns rays back into space, rather than trap them in the earth and increase global temperatures.
 
 
Al Gore immediately jumped on board and purchased stock in a paint company that claims to have the whitest white paint color available, called “whitey white”. Several proposals have been made to congress to immediately begin painting all of the roads and rooftops in the world.
 
http://www.funnyconservatives.com/2010/04/blonde-is-the-new-green/ (http://www.funnyconservatives.com/2010/04/blonde-is-the-new-green/)
 
 

 
Yep...  :- )
 
 

Democrats are too easy - y'll all do them every day here.