Title: The Ostrich Post by: wmdn_bs on 08 30, 10, 09:04:21:AM A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke.." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same.." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?" "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there." "That's brilliant!" says the waitress.. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.. The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.." Title: Re: The Ostrich Post by: takncarabizniz on 09 01, 10, 03:02:15:AM What is it with men and big butts?
I mean, ample boot-ae is okay but a big butt? Come on... LOL good joke Title: Re: The Ostrich Post by: wmdn_bs on 09 14, 10, 05:16:27:PM I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung Wanna pull up tough Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed Deep in the jeans she's wearing I'm hooked and I can't stop staring Oh, baby I wanna get with ya And take your picture My homeboys tried to warn me But that butt you got Make Me so horney Ooh, rump of smooth skin You say you wanna get in my benz Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy I've seen them dancin' To hell with romancin' She's Sweat,Wet, got it goin like a turbo vette I'm tired of magazines Saying flat butts are the thing Take the average black man and ask him that She gotta pack much back So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah) Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah) Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt Baby got back (LA face with Oakland booty) I like'em round and big And when I'm throwin a gig I just can't help myself I'm actin like an animal Now here's my scandal I wanna get you home And UH, double up UH UH I aint talkin bout playboy Cuz silicone parts were made for toys I wannem real thick and juicy So find that juicy double Mixalot's in trouble Beggin for a piece of that bubble So I'm lookin' at rock videos Knockin these bimbos walkin like hoes You can have them bimbos I'll keep my women like Flo Jo A word to the thick soul sistas I wanna get with ya I won't cus or hit ya But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna -- Til the break of dawn Baby Got it goin on Alot of pimps won't like this song Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it But I'd rather stay and play Cuz I'm long and I'm strong And I'm down to get the friction on So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah) Do you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah) Then turn around Stick it out Even white boys got to shout Baby got back (LA face with the Oakland booty) Yeah baby When it comes to females Cosmo ain't got nothin to do with my selection 36-24-36 Only if she's 5'3" So your girlfriend throws a Honda Playin workout tapes by Fonda But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt Some brothers wanna play that hard role And tell you that the butt ain't gold So they toss it and leave it And I pull up quick to retrieve it So cosmo says you're fat Well I ain't down with that Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin And I'm thinkin bout stickin To the beanpole dames in the magazines You aint it miss thing Give me a sista I can't resist her Red beans and rice did miss her Some knucklehead tried to dis Cuz his girls were on my list He had game but he chose to hit 'em And pulled up quick to get with 'em So ladies if the butt is round And you wanna triple X throw down Dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts Baby got back Baby got back Little in tha middle but she got much back x4 Title: Re: The Ostrich Post by: Oz on 09 29, 10, 06:07:05:AM [HIGHLIGHT=#NaNNaNNaN]Are you gonna take me home tonight Ah down beside that red firelight Are you gonna let it all hang out Fat bottomed girls You make the rockin' world go round Hey I was just a skinny lad Never knew no good from bad But I knew love before I left my nursery, huh Left alone with big fat fanny She was such a naughty nanny Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me Hey hey! I've been singing with my band Across the wire across the land I seen every blue eyed floozy on the way, hey But their beauty and their style Went kind of smooth after a while Take me to them dirty ladies every time C'mon Oh wont you take me home tonight? Oh down beside that red firelight Oh and you give it all you got Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round Hey listen here I've got mortgages and homes I got stiffness in my bones Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you) Oh but I still get my pleasure Still got my greatest treasure Hey big woman you gonna make a big man of me Now get this Oh (I know) you gonna take me home tonight (please) Oh down beside that red firelight Oh you gonna let it all hang out Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round Yeah Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round Get on your bikes and ride Oooh yeah, alright, them fat bottomed girls Fat bottomed girls Yeah yeah yeah alright, hey, c'mon Fat bottomed girls Yes yes More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/q/queen/#share[/HIGHLIGHT] |