Carson Plummets in Polls Amid Reports He Did Not Stab Anyone
DES MOINES — New reports indicating that Ben
Carson might not have actually stabbed anyone during his youth have
sent the retired neurosurgeon plummeting in the latest Republican
Presidential polls. Carson supporters, reeling from the news that
their candidate’s past might have been further embellished.

Mr. Carson responded by saying "I did too try to stab people,
I was some kind of a badass and I terrorized the neighborhood."

A neighbor who knew Carson's family told the AP
 "Say what??? That kid was a skinny little nerd who my nephew used to chase home after school.
They both got a lot of good healthy exercise that way
and when my nephew would catch him he'd pinch his ass - it was funny as hell."

The New Yorker